Posts Tagged ‘self’

Yesterday I wrote about the Survival Cycle, and if you’re human, you’ve been in this cycle. It’s a part having a mind and living this life. Everyone steps into this cycle in some aspect of his or her life every now and again. The problems with the Survival Cycle happen when it’s the only cycle you know. If you stay in this cycle too long you can fall into hate and resentment or worse apathetic depression. If the past equals the future and you aren’t living in your life, what’s the point? This is a dangerous place to live and it’s important to recognize the cycle before apathy sets in.

So, what is on the other side of the Survival Cycle?

If the Survival cycle is habit driven and past focused then the counterpart, in my mind, is living each day while making your life and circumstances better and better. I call this the Fulfillment cycle.

So, what are the characteristics of the Fulfillment Cycle?fulfillment_Cycle

 Present -> This is the act of noticing what is happening in your life, right now. What do you feel, what are your senses telling you? Being present is the act of stepping out of the story in your head and seeing what is happening right this minute.

Compassion -> If you are fully engaged in your day, you are more capable of knowing what’s happening around you and being compassionate with yourself, your circumstances and others. You’re less likely to project a story and more likely to take in what is actually happening. “Oh, that kid is crying in the store and that mom is drawing a great boundary.”   “I didn’t get enough sleep last night and I’m being a bit forgetful and short tempered, I need to take care of myself.”

Balance -> By seeing the world around you more clearly and by breathing into compassion for yourself and others, there is a settling and relaxation that occurs. You see where you currently are in your day, your relationship, and your life. In this place you feel an openness and freedom.

Power -> When you are in the moment and feeling open, you feel the power to take control of your actions. “Yes, I’m tired AND I don’t have to react to other people negatively.” “I can create what I want for myself.” “I will tell people ‘no’ and be kind doing it.” “I can smile at that mother and child who are having a tough day.”

Possibility -> When you feel compassion and power, all of a sudden there are more possibilities you can grab ahold of, options you can take, and ways of being that can change your direction.

Belief -> All of these possibilities start to show you that you are not your past. You start to see your value, what you WANT to be, and where you can grow and build new things. Your beliefs become more forward thinking. You aren’t stuck; you are building your life.

Decision -> With possibility and the belief that new things are possible, you feel empowered to make new (sometimes bold, sometimes baby step) decisions. These decisions slowly build, and you start to notice how the world and others show up for you differently. You are creating new circumstances!

Excitement -> Decisions don’t always work out. However, with the knowledge of possibility and your expanding belief in your growth, your excitement builds. Decisions aren’t right or wrong; they turn into learning experiences and stepping-stones to what you want and who you are becoming.

From excitement the cycle continues on again.

So how do you get into the Fulfillment Cycle?

For me, the Fulfillment Cycle is created by what I call the PLAY Mindset™…

I know, “play” can be a word that gives a motivated or stressed out person pause. I mean, who has time to play when there is so much that needs to be done?

Stick with me here. When I say PLAY I’m not talking about recreation or leisure, and I’m not talking directly about playful action. I’m talking about a set of skills we’ve always had, that as adults we abandon for stress and worry. I’m talking about a purposeful mindset that supports a person in creating success AND fulfillment. It’s my way of getting out of the Survival Cycle and into a purposeful, meaningful Fulfillment Cycle.

Stay tuned for more on the PLAY Mindset™ and the tools that help create Fulfillment…

 

Prologue:

This piece is inspired by a story I read years ago.  It’s more a lecture, to me, than a story as it is speaking directly to the reader.  It speaks of a room you are in where all is known about the room.   A place you’ve lived in all your life and you’ve decorated and redecorated to suit your taste.  There is also a door.  A door that leads to a void.  There seems to be no floors and no walls.  Maybe there is sound, maybe something but it is unknown to you and no light shines within.  The room has become completely known and boring to you.  The excitement, curiosity and fear are focused at the door, and the void.  Will you step through?

I quite like this story and it has stuck with me for years and years.  What is beyond my room and in the void beyond?  Am I brave enough to step through to the unknown?  Below is me playing with the story, “The Room.

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I jumped through to that void and what did I find?
The same damn room.
I was confused, did I miss something
this isn’t new, exciting, scary it’s just…
a room
I jumped again
This time… The same damn room!
I felt confusion
and from a confusion of expectation
an expectation of something new and different
came RAGE
Destruction of the room, fighting it all.
Throwing objects out into the void
The room in shambles and my energy wasted
I stepped into the void once more
…to the same room.

With no more rage to spend I collapse into a pile of tears.
What am I doing wrong?
Why this room, always?
I don’t want this room! I’m cursed
I cry until I can cry no longer and I look to the void again.
This time it will be different
 I step through and ….. same room….
despair and then apathy…
I lie for what seems like forever frozen in apathy
no will, no place, no movement
then to the void, the void that let me down so.
What did I fear?
Why did I fear?
What did I hope to find?
Why did I jump in the first place?
Why keep jumping?
What went wrong?
Sitting upright I take in the familiar
a room where nothing ever changes
Then to the void where change was once sought
and the fear of what that change could be and mean.
A deep breath and then another.
A thought arises and it goes by… and then another… and another
A smile, an energy, a creative surge.
Eyes closed and through the void once more
Everything has changed
there is a breeze and light and energy
focus and movement is everywhere
and yet…

What really changed?